Excuse me whilest I lie here and bleed


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My money and I have parted ways. It’s been a horrible breakup really. Dollar bills flying out the window, while I sit on the floor crying, begging them to come back. I make false promises of goodness and mercy, but they don’t listen. They know I’m lying. Truth is if I could hang on to enough of them, I’d just hand them over to my hair dresser anyway — my roots are showing, I’m desperate. I’m almost willing to go without food if it means staying a red head for a little bit longer.

My husband however, is not as committed to my vanity. He lies and tells me he likes my roots and thinks I should grow them out. After all, if I’m as committed to GMO free and organic food as I say I am, does it not make sense to stop poisoning myself with expensive hair dye? rhoda

I tell him to stop trying to confuse me with logic. Vanity is no match for truth at this point. If this keeps up, I’m going to wind up channeling my inner Rhoda.

In spite of my desperate pleas to stay, my dollar bills continue to leave me for greater loves like college tuition, a new furnace, a blown engine (which required a new to us car for my son), property taxes, dock fees, my sons meds, caring for my parents, my comedy habit, and physical therapy. Not to mention the usual things like food, utilities, and my mortgage; now it seems they want to leave me for my laptop.

I am presently laptopless — which sounds waay dirtier than I mean that. My laptop is my life people!

Let me just say that every letter in the alphabet is important, especially those that are part of your passwords and when that one letter doesn’t work, all heck breaks loose. There’s no getting onto Facebook, or Twitter, or your bank account or… if you’re like me this week  – YOUR WHOLE STINKIN LAPTOP.

There is no work around. Trust me, I’ve tried!

My life is locked away in a 4 lb it’s”gotta be pink because it’s cute” Dell processor. My banjo practice videos, my art work, my writing, my jokes, my blog. ALL of it – locked away from my prying eyes, because one stupid letter has gone awry.

Desperate to access my “life in a hard drive” I did the unthinkable. I pried off the offending letter in hopes that if I applied appropriate pressure to that little dot beneath the key, my letter would somehow resuscitate itself.

Didn’t work.

And to add insult to injury, adjoining keys have now bailed in protest. Nice. Traitors.

Which means I get to suck up what’s left of my redheaded pride, put on a hat, go to some geek rescue store and try to explain what happened. That’s not going to be cheap. Nor are these children going to care that I have a computer degree (from 1986, I know don’t laugh). They are going to look at my keyboard, and then try to sell me a new computer. My laptop is MAYBE five years old, I don’t want a new computer, or their goofy software that they will no doubt load trying to up sell me something. I just want my keys to work properly.

I need another expense right now like I need 10 more pounds. And no, I do not wish to discuss the ten pounds I gained over Christmas leaving me 20 in the hole with my doctor’s goal of “just lose ten by Valentines Day, can you do that?” — sigh. Hoping for a miracle here.

monkeysee-harness-01There is good news in this wine and cheese fest. I won something this week that will help me – not with the money, or my hair, but with my weight. See that pretty harness? It’s from MonkeySee in Australia. My friend Ashley B. over at Women Cyclists Blog (Seriously check her out, I love her blog and I’m not just saying that because I won free stuff, I promise.) did a product review and hosted a giveaway. I won. Yeah me!  I got to go online and order my own (I got pink of course) and I can’t wait to get it. Yes, I will review it for you guys. This looks like a killer product. Actually anything that makes me visible to motorists at night and helps me stay alive rocks in my book.

So you see, it’s not all bad. And I do realize in the grand scheme of things, not being able to afford to get my hair done is not the end of the world. There are people far worse off than I. So don’t send me hate mail, okay?  I am “cowgirling up” as they say in Oklahoma and I am gonna ride — maybe not a horse per se’, but at least my bike.

Have a great weekend you guys.

12 thoughts on “Excuse me whilest I lie here and bleed

  1. I could not have described this better myself “Dollar bills flying out the window, while I sit on the floor crying, begging them to come back.”

    My roots are showing too, so I could relate to that! Brown roots with blonde hair…UGH. It’s been almost an entire year since I’ve been to the hairdresser *cry*

    So thank you for this post, it brought a smile to my face! And thanks so much for the kind words!!! =D I’m happy that you won the harness, and I’m totally excited you got pink! Can’t wait to read about what you think!

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    1. Glad it made you laugh, that was the point. And at least bills *are* being paid – the important ones anyway. Just need to find better ways to cut back. My roots at present are more salt than pepper and have no red anymore. I was hoping my red hair would simply fade to white, but that’s not been the case. Who knows I may actually like it once it grows out. It’s just the growing out that is not so desirable. Thanks for commenting – and thank you again. I’m looking forward to my new safety gear.

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  2. Geek Squad is the least expensive and most reliable service center around here. As for your roots…L’Oreal Root Treatment is wonderful!

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    1. Thanks Rena — $7.99 box of L’Oreal Copper did the trick! It’s not the same shade I had before, but I can’t beat the price. I’ll wait and grow my roots out later.

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      1. You can also get one from Logitech that has the built in touchpad so you wont need to go back and forth between keyboard and touchpad on laptop. cost is around $35.00. (cheap solution for flaky key problem).

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      2. Thanks Gene, I’ll look into it. I’ll have to figure something out as I use a wireless mouse, that’s how I get around the touch pad issue.

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  3. Haha, I know how you feel about the dollar bills just leaving and flying out windows lol. I have the same problem. Hopefully you can get your laptop fixed because sadly a similar thing happened to me and my laptop half a year ago, sadly I haven’t saved any money to fix it, but really need to. Good luck with everything and have fun bike riding! =)

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      1. Yeah, hopefully not to much. I don’t know why they can get away with charging so much for simple fixes that they probably think is a piece of cake to fix, but is a tad confusing for people like me…

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