Naked and On My Knees…The Journey Home


My inner critic is a poltergeist of a child. Loud. Demanding. Mean. Constantly afraid of coming up short, she whispers lies and rules so burdensome that no one can stand under her weight. Not even me.

I try to shut her up with an early afternoon pina colada while on our cruise and she just complains about the hour and questions the appropriateness of drinking so early with people she barely knows. What would they think?

Truthfully?

I am too busy enjoying the cool coconutty goodness in a tall glass to pay too much attention to her. I even keep the cute pink paper umbrella as a reminder that I do too know how to be free once in a while. And then as if to spite her, I glue it to the very center of my art journal page just to prove a point.

Grace abounds

Life is a journey

I can be at home in my own skin

even in the middle of the sea

surrounded by strangers.

——-

It feels good to be back y’all. Thank you for allowing me to take such an extended break. I needed time way to allow my spirit to be nourished. I’ve learned a lot while I was away. You’ll notice that my page format has changed. Rather than fighting what feels like a wilderness of change, I’m learning how to not only embrace it but truly live in it. I’m looking forward to learning the difference between “good” and “vastly great.”

“Naked and on

my knees, years of good enough

were callously stripped away

an angel took mercy

and held my hand

…fear not my love

‘good’

was merely insulating you… from

vastly great.”

– Kristen Jongen, “Growing Wings”

This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. All rights reserved. April 23, 2011

8 thoughts on “Naked and On My Knees…The Journey Home

  1. Thank you Deana for your kind words and reference point on your blog. I wish we’d had more time to get to know one another on the cruise. Keep writing πŸ™‚ Keep Inspiring πŸ™‚ Keep up the good fight πŸ™‚
    Kristen Jongen

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  2. Deana, welcome back and I’m so glad you got to go on the cruise. I thought of going and then decided I couldn’t. Now I know that one of the benefits of going on the cruise would have been meeting you face-to-face after reading your blogs for this long time. Congratulations for hushing the inner critic without making too much of it or crushing her. After all, she is a part of you. πŸ™‚ Sometimes you just need to tell her to sit down and shush up. And you did. I’m smiling here.

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    1. Thanks Joan. Meeting you would have been fun. I’m told there will be more trips like this, perhaps we’ll meet then. I really did have a good time, inner critic and all. I find it interesting that we as women are so multifaceted. Learning to love those facets is also part of the journey.

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    1. Thank you Rena. The art journal is part of a class taught by Teresa Roberts Logan. She was one of the planners/instructors for the cruise. Look up Kristen when you get a chance (she’s on my side bar) I really think you’d like her art, as well as her thoughts. If there is such a thing as an “old soul” she’s one. For a such a young gal, she has an ethereal beauty/knowing that forces you to stop and listen.

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